Just for laughs

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

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Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Three Feelings:What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
andPanic is when both are pregnant.

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Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, i'm confident.
Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!